It seems as if I can never catch a break, things are not going as planned and I am thoroughly upset. I am without my kids, with no direction, and constantly suffering disappointments. Just when I think things are looking up, it all goes to shit. I am constantly feeling like I am being pulled in opposite directions, and all I want is consistency.

I had told myself that I would not settle for less, but now I wonder if I have asked too much and should rearrange my priorities. Maybe I have. Sometimes I wonder if I don't deserve what I am asking for. I'm still holding on to things I have lost or simply were never mine to begin with. The worst part is that that the things I have lost keep getting dangled in front of my face! Constantly being reminded, makes it even harder to let go.

I am missing lots of things right now. I missing my peace of mind, my children, and my stability. I wish things were different and it hurts me that they aren't.